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Saturday, August 16th, 2003
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1:13 am
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so i havent updated since i was still in ND.
and a lot has happened since then.
dont get too excited, its not like i lost my virginity, or anything, but there are a few new additions to the life of me, eyal binshtock.
-im living at home, for summer, and im glad to be back.
- i sprouted my first pubic hair!
- i currently hold the world's masturbation record, for masturbating seventeen times in the span of 21 hours.
- i am selling the old civic.
- i got my pilot's license.
im a little depressed that im still not getting any, but whatever. im going to keep trying for caroline no matter how much she says she loves her boyfriend. god all my friends have such hot girlfriends. it makes me want to take my rifle and kill them, and then have my way with their significant others. too bad, my rifle is in ND cause you cant get weapons past customs.
if i was the leader of hte world, i'd change that. but then i wouldnt have to go through all that trouble, cause if i was leader of the world, i'd probably be getting some.
im sure most of you are annoyed with my senseless jargon and un-entertaining rambling.
i cant get the two things i need right now: a bitch and some liquor.
end of story.
-eyal.
ps - i saw metallica the other night, and they were almost as good as they were at lilith fair. this time i didnt get my little body blown 100 ft. by standing too close to the thousand plus watt amps!
i love lars. he's so sexy.
god, im so gay.
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| Saturday, May 3rd, 2003
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7:34 pm
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things are really heating up here in N.D.
you can tell summer is near, cause it was a blazing twenty seven degrees today!
last week was terrible winter weather though...
i went outside and looked in pants and thought to myself "good god, i'm a woman"
i got drunk to some led zeppelin with some college bitches, but they didnt give me any. college parties suck, i think i'm going to start going for freshmen. high school freshmen. they like beer.
this morning i woke up at 930 to shooting with my rifle. i feel kind of like a dumbass because i bought the rifle thinking that it was going to make me cool, but really i have nothing to shoot because N.D. is a fucking wasteland.
ahh, oh well. hmm what else is new?
oh yeah, my roomate got kind of annoying, so last night i went into his room, cut his throat and watched him bleed to death all over his white sheets and then sent them home to his mother. then i took some guy who hates israelis, beat him unconscience with my rifle and brought him into my room and planted the evidence on him. well, that bastard is now on death row, so i guess i had the final laugh. hey! i guess my rifle did come in handy for something after all even though i couldnt use it!
fucking leor got an subaru RS, im so mad, thats what i wanted.
ha! well at least im in North Dakota and dont feel dumb about it.
why do i keep typing, when i know that im only lying to myself?
-Eyal.
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